I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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