Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
