Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
