I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
