Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
