i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize