He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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