You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
