Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think i have herpe
just one?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
