I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
