I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
