girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
