we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
