Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
