when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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