sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
ok first of all what the fuck
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
