we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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