my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
