Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
