are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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