I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
