I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
