found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
