By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
