it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ttyl tear gas
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
