He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
