never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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