I puked a lego.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
