never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
