I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Come see our sink grown plant.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
