is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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