Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
