I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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