your room smells of hookers.
And success
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize