I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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