At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
do nipples grow back?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
