we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
