he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
