Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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