$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
