...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he fucked my hip out of place.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
