A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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