i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
