I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
