ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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