I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
