he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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