why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
