she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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