Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
