WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
