My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
this boner is exhausting
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
