Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
