Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize