So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
