The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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