New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my being single is dangerous.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
