He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yo dont text me then not text me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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