Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
