I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
