am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize