WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
