Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
