if you like me you must not know who I am
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize