I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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