i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
